From Secret Service to Surrogacy: A Dad's Journey Through Grief, Growth, and Building Legacy: Cory Allen

Episode Details

Former Secret Service agent Corey Allen opens up about his unconventional path to fatherhood through surrogacy, including the grief of miscarriages and the challenges of balancing work, family, and aging parents. He shares how becoming a dad transformed his patience, led him to write a children's book about travel, and taught him to embrace flexibility while building meaningful legacy for his children.

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

[00:01:43] - The Surrogacy Journey

Discussion of 5-year fertility journey including cultural considerations and multiple setbacks
Key quote: "Nobody prepared us for the grief that came with having transfers... nobody prepared us for two miscarriages."

[00:06:17] - Navigating Non-Biological Parenthood

How couples handle rejection and different parenting instincts when one parent isn't biological
Key quote: "We just have to do those check-ins... making sure we're checking in because it's not easy to witness or to experience."

[00:09:40] - The Sandwich Generation Challenge

Managing elderly parents on both coasts while raising toddler and expecting second child
Key quote: "Something about the American baby boomer generation. Some of them just don't really have the ability to think beyond themselves."

[00:14:13] - Writing "Data Takes a Trip"

Creating children's book to help explain work travel and maintain connection
Key quote: "I would love to have a book that explains dadada has to leave, but he'll be back. He loves you."

[00:22:04] - Learning from Parenting Mistakes

Recognizing how children mirror our behaviors and the need for immediate change
Key quote: "I was fighting my own attributes... I was dealing with my own personality. He's got those attributes."

[00:26:15] - Growing Patience as a Parent

Strategies for managing frustration and developing flexibility with toddler behavior
Key quote: "I have to literally take a deep breath, exhale purposefully. And that usually does it for me."

[00:30:58] - Fears About Mortality and Legacy

Concerns about being present for children's milestones and creating lasting impact
Key quote: "I'm just worrying about that a lot... the kids are young and if I pass away tomorrow, they're not going to have those core memories."

[00:38:05] - The Pull-Up Diaper Disaster

Humorous story about discovering pull-tab feature during messy diaper change
Key quote: "There is poo everywhere. I'm like, how are there no quick release on these stupid pull up diapers?"

Connect with Jeff Hittner: https://jeffhittner.com

Join me on March 12 for a free, 60-minute live workshop, Winning at Work Without Losing at Home, where you’ll identify your “Default Dad” moments and learn practical tools to become more intentional and present, building the first pillar of a Fatherhood Philosophy that helps you lead at home with the same clarity you bring to work. Register here: https://www.ambitiousdads.com/registration-page

Episode cover art for From Secret Service to Surrogacy: A Dad's Journey Through Grief, Growth, and Building Legacy: Cory Allen